{"product_id":"cartoons-start-at-5am-pg","title":"Cartoons Start At 5am pg","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“SHHH! TURN IT DOWN!” \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAt six inches from the TV at 5:07 a.m., eating Sugar Smacks from mixing bowls because apparently \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eserving sizes were communist propaganda. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eNobody woke us. Nobody needed to. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eOur internal clocks were \u003cstrong\u003esynchronized to Hanna-Barbera and childhood diabetes\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eNo pause. No replay. No mercy. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eJason went to pee during Scooby-Doo. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eRookie mistake. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHe came back demanding, “WHAT HAPPENED?!”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWe don’t know, Jason. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWE WERE BUSY WATCHING YOU HOP THROUGH THE LIVING ROOM WITH YOUR UNDERWEAR AROUND ONE ANKLE. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSit down! \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYou missed the villain AND your dignity.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eCARTOONS AT 5 A.M.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWake Before God • Weaponize Cereal • HOLD IT, JASON\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Light Blue \/ S","offer_id":50173510123768,"sku":"23638008424497449210","price":25.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":50173510156536,"sku":"21880701356864970216","price":25.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Royal \/ S","offer_id":50173510189304,"sku":"22179100545366835258","price":25.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ S","offer_id":50173510222072,"sku":"27692731224203868789","price":25.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":50173510254840,"sku":"19440306817535635635","price":25.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ S","offer_id":50173510287608,"sku":"24832380665283672973","price":25.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ S","offer_id":50173510320376,"sku":"11353023613193063117","price":25.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Light Blue \/ M","offer_id":50173510353144,"sku":"28207977544757581642","price":25.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Royal \/ M","offer_id":50173510385912,"sku":"15324946814652016266","price":25.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ M","offer_id":50173510418680,"sku":"15798199828960431563","price":25.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":50173510451448,"sku":"19311764695336075253","price":25.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ M","offer_id":50173510484216,"sku":"28022263114109284774","price":25.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ M","offer_id":50173510516984,"sku":"17360941910101307630","price":25.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Light Blue \/ L","offer_id":50173510549752,"sku":"13730562978091108932","price":25.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ L","offer_id":50173510582520,"sku":"28949421553392137562","price":25.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Royal \/ L","offer_id":50173510615288,"sku":"68867193348320185569","price":25.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ L","offer_id":50173510648056,"sku":"28945880355860847532","price":25.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":50173510680824,"sku":"25974878513086574041","price":25.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ L","offer_id":50173510713592,"sku":"83465436510155549106","price":25.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ L","offer_id":50173510746360,"sku":"31907372770719230711","price":25.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":50173510779128,"sku":"10921576147397412425","price":25.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Royal \/ XL","offer_id":50173510811896,"sku":"17312986642680965752","price":25.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ XL","offer_id":50173510844664,"sku":"12710477761222700269","price":25.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":50173510877432,"sku":"20716264767736187350","price":25.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ XL","offer_id":50173510910200,"sku":"16791481366297028328","price":25.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Light Blue \/ 2XL","offer_id":50173510942968,"sku":"29899678255417427913","price":29.28,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":50173510975736,"sku":"73323188924160254231","price":29.28,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Royal \/ 2XL","offer_id":50173511008504,"sku":"19209730906021425602","price":29.28,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":50173511041272,"sku":"15155436751937860138","price":29.28,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":50173511074040,"sku":"12985696522660009639","price":29.28,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":50173511106808,"sku":"22875958378220659576","price":29.28,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ 2XL","offer_id":50173511139576,"sku":"30574930427728574259","price":29.28,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":50173511172344,"sku":"21443840702015379517","price":32.53,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Royal \/ 3XL","offer_id":50173511205112,"sku":"33692702545535888396","price":32.53,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0844\/1715\/1224\/files\/CartoonsStarted5am-MainPage-MilitaryGreen.png?v=1790888862","url":"https:\/\/since5.store\/products\/cartoons-start-at-5am-pg","provider":"Since5","version":"1.0","type":"link"}