Limited Time

HALLOWEEN, BEFORE IT GOT SUPERVISED.

One flashlight. Six kids. Zero tracking devices. Shop the memories built from pillowcase hauls, plastic masks, questionable visibility, and the sacred command to be home eventually.

ORDER NOW. PROCRASTINATION ALREADY HAS ENOUGH MERCH.

Halloween Field Ops

TACTICAL APPAREL FOR RETIRED CANDY PROFESSIONALS.

Global Safety Equipment

Global Safety Equipment

$49.98 USD

Gen X Costume Department Crest

Gen X Costume Department Crest

$49.98 USD

Gen X Club

Gen X Club

$49.98 USD

Be Home By Midnight

Be Home By Midnight

$49.98 USD

Parents Checked Our Candy

Parents Checked Our Candy

$49.98 USD

Adult Supervision Sold Separately

Adult Supervision Sold Separately

$49.98 USD

Unsupervised Since 1984

Unsupervised Since 1984

$49.98 USD