The Details—Because Apparently We’re Responsible Adults
The design got your attention. Here’s everything else you’ll want to know before choosing a size, claiming your favorite color, and settling into your new excuse for avoiding real pants.
A Quick Note About the Fit
This sweatshirt has a classic unisex fit—comfortable and easy to layer, but not automatically oversized just because the internet has collectively decided everything should fit like a portable blanket.
Our current Gen X bodies have survived several decades, multiple fashion emergencies, and the complete betrayal of our metabolism, so please use the size chart instead of relying on the size you wore during the first Bush administration.
- Want a closer, everyday fit? Order your usual size.
- Want extra room for layering? Go up one size.
- Want that loose, oversized leggings-and-coffee fit? Go up two sizes.
- Planning to tie a knot in it? Tiffany, it’s a sweatshirt. We admire the commitment, but please stand down.
The size on the tag is just a number. The measurements, unfortunately, brought documentation.
The Sweatshirt Details
Made from a cozy cotton-polyester blend, this unisex crewneck combines softness, warmth, and the kind of durability required for repeat appearances in the weekly laundry pile.
The medium-heavy fabric weighs approximately 8.0 oz/yd² (271 g/m²)—substantial enough to feel warm without turning you into an upholstered piece of furniture.
A smooth outer surface helps artwork print clearly and vibrantly, while the soft interior is ready for cold mornings, over-air-conditioned buildings, and homes where somebody touched the thermostat without authorization.
The ribbed-knit collar, cuffs, and waistband help the sweatshirt keep its shape. Double-needle stitching reinforces the shoulder, armhole, neck, waistband, and cuff seams because apparently clothing receives more structural support than we did.
The seamless body reduces irritation, and the gray pearlized tear-away label means one less itchy thing demanding your attention.
Good to Know
Each sweatshirt is made to order, so slight variations in color and print placement may occur. That isn’t a defect—it’s proof that an actual item was produced for you instead of being pulled from a warehouse pile assembled during the previous decade.
Colors may look slightly different depending on your screen settings. Apparently every device has its own artistic interpretation of navy, gray, and cream.
The white variant may appear slightly off-white rather than bright optical white because of the natural characteristics of the fabric. Heathered colors may also contain visible blended fibers, which is normal.
Please review the size chart before ordering. We would love to prevent returns, disappointment, and the emotional spiral caused by discovering that “unisex” is not a legally binding promise of oversized comfort.
Colors & Fabric Blend
Most colors are made from a 50% ethically grown U.S. cotton and 50% polyester blend—soft, sturdy, and significantly less complicated than most relationships from the ’80s.
- Standard colors: 50% cotton and 50% polyester
- Heather Sport colors: 40% cotton and 60% polyester
Heather Sport colors contain more polyester and naturally have a more blended, heathered appearance. Slight differences in color and texture between shades are normal. The fabric is not malfunctioning; it just has range.
A couple of colors also brought their own disclaimers:
- White may appear slightly off-white rather than bright optical white because of the fabric’s natural properties.
- Orange may display subtle shifts in hue under different lighting. It isn’t changing colors behind your back—it’s simply being dramatic.
All colors have the same medium-heavy 8.0 oz/yd² (271 g/m²) fabric weight.